September 15, 2004

Mindcontrol lasers

Gaypatriot has a conspiracy theory explaining the timing of the Rathergate memos. Basically, the theory goes, the Kerry campaign had been sitting on these memos for a while, planning to spring them at the end of the campaign. With the polls and maybe management shakeup, they used them ahead of time.

My comment: It's a simple, believable conspiracy theory, which makes it not ready for prime time. Come on, this story is big enough and nutty enough that it needs aliens, vampires, the Illuminati, and spacebased mind control lasters.

So, my conspiracy theory: Dan Rather, hero, and recently elected Queen of the Space Unicorns, was getting ready to come out as a conservative on live TV. To keep this from happening, the Illuminati kidnapped him and replaced him with a clone. The Dan Rather clone, of course, has a bomb surgically implanted, and ..... um yeah.

[cue music]

That's all, folks.

Update: News flash! It wasn't a clone, it was an android!

Posted by Owlish at September 15, 2004 01:57 PM | TrackBack
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