My comment: It's a simple, believable conspiracy theory, which makes it not ready for prime time. Come on, this story is big enough and nutty enough that it needs aliens, vampires, the Illuminati, and spacebased mind control lasters.
So, my conspiracy theory: Dan Rather, hero, and recently elected Queen of the Space Unicorns, was getting ready to come out as a conservative on live TV. To keep this from happening, the Illuminati kidnapped him and replaced him with a clone. The Dan Rather clone, of course, has a bomb surgically implanted, and ..... um yeah.
[cue music]
That's all, folks.
Update: News flash! It wasn't a clone, it was an android!